Reality isn't pretty

In some respects, I knew this was coming, but in other ways, I've had my head in the sand.  Reality has raised its head after the great trip to Italy and the great four weeks since retirement.  And the reality is called ELDER CARE.  I've been lucky to have living parents at my age.  Living many miles from them, I've enjoyed weekly or more often phone calls, and short trips home.  But that is not the reality of dealing with aging parents.  As I write today's blog I keep thinking that no one prepared me for this feeling of helplessness.

Mom's memory seems to be going so quickly.  Since I've been here for six days I've witnessed this first hand.  I've discovered that she has not been taking the appropriate medication --- she had the pills but was not dividing them up into her pill box correctly.  One day her blood pressure was 220 over 101.  I don't  know how I figured it out, but I started to realize that she should have seven pills in her AM box and two in her PM box.  Two pills looked so much alike - aspirin and clonidine--- that I had tomark on the clonidine so she would see the difference.  I'm happy to say that her blood pressure is now down to about normal.

I think she needs to see a neurologist, but can't get her doctor to return my calls.  I'm at the point to write a letter to whatever agency in Indiana oversees physicians.   I'm trying to figure out whether she should remain on her Medicare Advantage program, or shift to regular medicare and a Medi-gap policy in January.  How in the hell do people who are not computer savvy, who don't have an advanced degree, work this system of ours?   It is a disgrace that the United States of America has a medical system like this one.

This is what I have set up, and I would really appreciate comments from anyone who knows more about this than I do.  We need help.

1. I've lined up the pills and photographed those for the AM and those for the PM.
2. My nephew, who eats lunch with my parents Monday through Friday, will check weekly to make sure that the right pills are in the pillbox.
3. I've put the photograph with her pills and showed it to her and Dad.
4. I've arranged for an eldercare professional to make an assessment of the situation for us...short term --- what do we do and long term -- where are we going.
5. I've contacted the agent with whom she has long term care insurance to make sure that her bill is paid and that someone notifies me if there is ever a problem.
6. I've emailed and called the physician's office about her meds and the neurology referral.

Will this work?  Am I doing the right thing?

Welcome, reality.