Day minus 1.  Okay, last week's post about handing over the baton was a downer, but to those who are contemplating retirement, an update:  life at work is already dimming in my mind!  As I cleaned out electronic files yesterday I realized that there were not that many I wanted to copy to a CD.  Most of them were photos of the good times and inspirational writing that I sometimes read to keep up my spirits when times were tough.  HA! 

I attended a party for another staff member and friend who is also retiring officially tomorrow.  She looked radiant!  AND she really seemed to like the necklace I made for her --- the famous Becca Beads!  So, unlike my cousin who told me that life was going to be the same day after day now, let me say to all of you.....not on my watch!

Family is arriving today, so that is my excuse for not posting my 100 things to do in retirement.  As I have posted one of them already, I suppose we can say I owe you 99 more.  It is on my TO DO list, but frankly, I am just so busy right now that I haven't gotten around to it.  That may be my favorite expression from here on out.......

I got home yesterday to find a beautiful bouquet of roses and other flowers with a CONGRATULATIONS balloon attached, and two boxes from Dean and Deluca containing Italian goodies and a back pack made expressly for wine and cheese picnics...glasses, cheese board, plates, and a bag for the wine.  Somebody knows me well!

Just finished my remarks for tomorrow, cried a bit over the sentiments, and reminded myself to bring kleenex for the ceremony!  I don't have music playing now, so nothing more to add.  Onward and upward.

Make someone happy

My friend emailed me recently about a concept called "Blue Zones".  These are areas of the world where people live to much older ages...Okinawa; Sardinia; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, CA (7th Day Adventists).  Along with diet and exercise, the people in these cultures cultivate long-term friendships.  The scientists studying this phenomenon claim that longevity is more a factor of how you live than of the genes with which you were born.  


My friend sent me this idea for the blog because of the deep and long friendships I have enjoyed in my lifetime.  I've always assumed I'd have a pretty long life because of the longevity of my parents - Dad is 90 and Mom is 82.  Now I'm wondering if it is the genes or the factor of friendships that may influence my life and longevity.  My parents have been the most positive influence in my life, they have many friends (or did before most of them died---that's the problem with living longer--your friends die before you.)  My Dad has always reinforced the concept of friendship and treating people well.  My Mom has modeled this concept in her interactions with family, friends, and complete strangers.

There is more to it, of course, than just friendships.  The Blue Zones website lists the power 9:

1. Just move – Develop an active lifestyle, not just exercising to exercise.
2. Purposeful outlook — Have clarity about your role in life.
3. Down shift on stress — Learn to shed stress in your life.
4. Eat to 80% full — Stop your meals when you are 80% full rather than totally full.
5. Plant slant — Use meat more as a condiment than a staple.
6. Wine @ 5 — Drink Moderate drinking has positive benefits.
7. Belong to a community — Belonging to a faith-based community extends one's life in general.
8. Loved ones first — Focusing on family in life and keeping family members close to home will improve one's life.
9. Right Tribe — Having a social circle that promotes healthy lifestyles is important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle yourself.  " Okinawans created ”moais”–groups of five friends that committed to each other for life.  Research from the Framingham Studies show that smoking, obesity, happiness, and  even loneliness is contagious.   Assessing who you hang out with, and then proactively surrounding yourself with the right friends, will do more to add years to your life than just about anything else."

Can't believe it, but Jimmy Durante is singing "make someone happy..."  on the radio just now:

Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy;
Make just one heart the heart you sing to.
One smile that cheers you,
One face that lights when it nears you,
One girl you're ev'rything to.

Fame if you win it,
Comes and goes in a minute.
Where's the real stuff in life to cling to?
Love is the answer,
Someone to love is the answer.
Once you've found her, build your world around her.

Make someone happy, 
Make just one someone happy,
And you will be happy, too.

So, I'll be talking a lot about how I incorporate these concepts into my life in retirement.  Regardless of longevity, these are some pretty powerful goals.  

I'm pretty sure I have numbers 6, 8 and 9 down pat.  

I am so lucky to have my "moais."  

Handing over the baton

Day minus 7.  Actually, this was my last day of work.  I cleaned out my office, deleted electronic files, set up an out of office message on my phone and email account.  

I didn't think it would be this emotional.  While I am throwing out a life-time of work, shredding papers, determining what to take home and what to pitch, life was going on without me.  Special Ed had assumed leadership and as any good leader he was taking stock of where we (they) were.  I put on my headphones and turned up the 70's music to drown out any possibility that I would hear the meeting in the next room.  It can be painful to think that there will be a new direction, even though you know that's the way it will be.  Things move on.  Does everyone deserve to think they've left a "legacy?"  How about if you just touched a few people in a positive way?  

AYN RAND - MOLLY IVINS

Okay, I WAS going to say something about these two women and their writings, but this isn't a political blog.  All I will say is that I am GREATLY looking forward to Kathleen Turner's new play about Molly called RED HOT PATRIOT!  

Today is day minus12 and I had wanted to count down each day until THE day, but I just never had time since day minus 15.  So, this will be a little mix of the last few days to catch up.  Some were more interesting than others.  For example, day 13 was a riot.  But let me start from the beginning.

Day minus 14 - Friday.  I consider this day the last day of real meaningful meetings and the end of my era.  Nothing too significant happened, but I did end my career with an agreement from a different office to partner with us (I should say "them" since I won't be here) to address issues for military families with special needs.  I'll leave it at that.

Day minus 13 - Saturday.  This was one of those glorious days in August when the morning temperature is almost cool.  I put down the top on my convertible (no longer consider it almost new - hit 5,000 miles last week) to drive only a couple miles to meet Friend, Pretty Pretty and Motorbike for a GREAT bike ride and then to a production of Menopause.  We were planning a 20+ mile ride at Indian Head Trail, a quick trip home, a shower and then Metro to the Warner Theater.  What could be better?

About 15 miles into the ride, Motorbike and I were discussing the noise coming from her bike.  It was an annoying rattling, but when we checked everything it seemed really tight.  Then KABAM!  As we were riding right next to woods that were posted "PUBLIC HUNTING" I almost fell off my bike trying to jump for cover.  Not gunfire.  We learned the hard way, if your bike is making a horrible rattling sound, don't ignore it.  Her back tire had blown up.  In fact, it blew so hard, that it cracked the plastic case that holds the battery for the electric motor she had customized onto her bike - thus her nickname - Motorbike.

The others were not too far ahead and agreed to get the cars and come back for us.  It wasn't really too bad.  We had a 3 mile walk, but all in all not a bad day.... yet.

Less than an hour later we had cars, bike racks loaded, and wished our two companions farewell as they took off.  As we drove down the highway, in the rear view mirror, Motorbike saw the bike rack sliding off the trunk.  She made an emergency maneuver, I jumped out and grabbed what was left of the bike rack before both bikes hit the pavement.  As it were, our long gone companions were driving an SUV and possibly could have fit two more bikes.  We were driving a two door Lexus with 348,000 miles on it, 20 miles from home with two bikes and no bike rack.

Twenty minutes later with one bungee cord and what I could salvage from the now thrown-to-the-side-of-the-road bike rack, we had disassembled the front tires, maneuvered the rest of the two bikes into the trunk, tied the trunk down with the bungee cord and two clips from the bike rack, thrown the front tires in the back seat, and left the bike rack by the side of the road.  I hate people who leave things on the side of the road, but honestly, there was NO ROOM IN THAT CAR.

For the twenty miles home all I could think of was that bumper being pulled off the back of the car by our tie down.  I also vowed no more distant bike rides on the same day we have tickets for a 2:00 show.

Today, minus 12 - nothing note worthy, but I continue hauling stuff from my office.

If you haven't seen Menopause, do it.  My two favorite scenes were "Good Vibrations" and "What's Love Got to Do With It."  If you see the show, you will understand.

MALE READERS/QUEASY YOUNGER WOMEN – THIS IS NOT FOR YOU

.

Ladies, just got back from my mammogram.  Jeez.  I know the alternative isn’t desirable, but my gosh, can’t there be a better way?  It isn’t always this way, and I don’t want to scare those younger women who have not started this process, but today it hurt!

I know I complained that the Body Pump designers are sadistic, but they are NOTHING compared to the designers of the mammogram machine.  Maybe it gets better as you get older, you know, the breasts start drooping and kind of going flat – right?  But right now they are NOT flat.  So okay for those of you who haven’t experienced this --- men if you are still reading --- and younger women---this is how today went.

A rather disgruntled radiology technician – I guess that is the professional title-- takes me into a small, clinical looking room and hands me this contraption that is supposed to protect my pelvic area.  In my case, it was thick hard metal rod in a circular shape that I was supposed twist open to put around my waist.  I'm not sure how to explain it, except it is like one of those metal rings you must twist to put your keys and loyalty cards onto only much bigger.  I managed to do it, but when the technician later said “suck in your breath”  I wondered why she would need to say that.  I was sucked in.  Oh yeah.  Sucked in good.

I should be grateful I suppose because I believe there was a bigger size sitting on the table so I guess I looked small enough for the one I got.  That was a bit of consolation, and I was NOT going to ask for the bigger size.  I have my pride..

Next the technician takes the paper gown (and believe me that is a stretch calling this thing a gown) off of my upper body, shoves me against this machine with what looks like two pieces of hard clear plastic about five inches from each other---sort of like a big clear sandwich and my breast is the filling.  She pulls my right breast between the two hard pieces of plastic, walks behind a shield and presses the button that makes the machine SQUEEZE.  

When I say squeeze, imagine taking a child’s balloon that you have blown to its full capacity (don’t laugh – they are still pretty perky) and placing it between two encyclopedias then adding the family bible and the unabridged Webster dictionary. 

That technician is lucky that she walked behind the shield before she pressed that squeeze button.  If I had been able to get at her I’m not sure what I would have done.  As she presses squeeze, she is also saying to me “hold your breath.”  I had been holding it since the metal rod was wrapped around my middle, but I will admit, I WAS able to suck in a little more.

The only good thing about today other than the obvious that I can afford health care was the sick mental picture I was enjoying of a machine that could be developed to detect penis cancer.  As I envisioned it, the machine would be much lower than the one for breast cancer, obviously.  It would be more tubular shaped – kind of like a hot dog bun—but the psi (pressure per square inch) would be about 90, which is the psi for my bicycle tires.  

I have no doubt that a man invented the mammogram machine, so it is only fair that a woman invent the penogram machine.

That’s how my day went today – 15 days from retirement.

Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

I’m counting down the days.  Sixteen more and pretty much my Federal career is over.  What seems to be left now is explaining to those who are staying on what I did, who I worked with on what, etc…  As it stands today, I’ve got three days to do training for the Army, three days of leave that I will take the week of my ceremony – getting the house and yard ready for visitors.  One day is the day to check out equipment and one day is the actual retirement.  That sure doesn’t leave much.

Great surprise today---friends and colleagues overseas sent me flowers today --- at the office.  What a treat.  Calla Lilies, my favorite flowers.  I think a little person told them how much I live Callas.  The card that came with it made me smile.  Someone remembered me and thinks I made a little difference.  Isn’t that what we all want --- to know that we made a little difference in someone’s life, career, or future?  Wow.

I always think about that quote – “To the world you may just be someone, but to someone you may be the whole world.”  Wouldn’t it be great to know that you were the world to someone?  Or at least something to someone.

I’ve got one more important meeting in my career --- Friday.  One last time I will try to get past the bureaucracy to get something done.  This may determine a little bit how I view the past 28 years.

On the way into the office this morning I listened to a song that I can't get out of my mind…Tom T Hall…Old dogs, children and watermelon wine.  Country is not my normal genre – 60s and 70s are more my speed, but this song really got to me.

Old dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

How old do you think I am he said I said well I didn't know
He said I turned sixty five about eleven months ago

I was sittin' in Miami pourin' blended whiskey down
When this old grey black gentleman was cleanin' up the lounge
There wasn't anyone around 'cept this old man and me
The guy who ran the bar was watching Ironsides on TV
Uninvited he sat down and opened up his mind
On old dogs and children and watermelon wine

Ever had a drink of watermelon wine he asked
He told me all about it though I didn't answer back
Ain't but three things in this world that's worth a solitary dime
But old dogs and children and watermelon wine
He said women think about theyselves when menfolk ain't around
And friends are hard to find when they discover that you're down
He said I tried it all when I was young and in my natural prime
Now it's old dogs and children and watermelon wine

Old dogs care about you even when you make mistakes
God bless little children while they're still too young to hate
When he moved away I found my pen and copied down that line
'Bout old dogs and children and watermelon wine
[ harmonica ]
I had to catch a plane up to Atlanta that next day
As I left for my room I saw him pickin' up my change
That night I dreamed in peaceful sleep of shady summertime
Of old dogs and children and watermelon wine

Not sure that this song has a lot to do with the rest of the post, but I just really liked it.

Life is a Banquet...Auntie Mame

My god, what a beautiful city this is.  Yesterday went for a 21 mile bike ride with three friends.  We are trying to get in shape for the Italy bike trip.  The city is just so beautiful....riding along the Potomac River.  What a sight.

Today we had a 7 mile walk from Georgetown to the other side of Union Station.  You cannot believe how beautiful, how many great people and places you see along the way.

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday.  She is almost 75 and still working.  She looks fabulous and not anywhere near 75.  Both of us discussed retirement.  She isn't ready for it and I am SO ready for it.  Interesting discussions on the topic and especially when she reminded me of Auntie Mame's famous quote about life.  "Life is a banquet and so many poor fools are starving to death!"  It reminded me of all that might be out there for the taking in my next life period.

Twenty eight years ago I quit my job, sold my house and announced to my family that I was moving to Europe.  No job, no place to live and only one friend in Germany.  That was the beginning of an era for me that will end on August 31.  That unbelievable experience led to me working for the DoD schools, then moving to D.C., then working where I am now.  It has been a great gig.  Who in the world thought that my gypsy existence in France would end up in a whole career working for the military?

So, I'm ready to start at the beginning of this banquet and work my through to the desserts.

Checking Out

I turned over the reins to someone on the staff today because I realized I’m only in the office for eight more days.  He wants to meet on Monday to ask me questions.  I also started to clean out my electronic files; will clean out the filing cabinets next week.  I’ve already told everyone at the office that I doubt there is much in the filing cabinet that I or anyone else will want.  Guess the shredder is going to be busy.  Isn’t that sort of funny?  28 years of work and most of the written history is going in the shredder.

I had my ethics briefing today, too.  It seems like I can do a lot of things when I leave the government, except represent a contractor to the government on something I previously worked on.  That that would never be a problem for me because the last thing I want to do is represent anyone to the government.  I was on the other side of the desk too many times when contractors came to pitch us ideas.  I don’t blame them, that IS the business, but I know that I could never do it.  In fact, I don’t think I’d make a good salesperson at all.  One time I helped my sister out in her shop for about one hour and felt so badly when customers didn’t buy anything.  I couldn’t take that kind of rejection!  Of course, when I DO like something I tell everyone about it until I’m sure they want to run screaming out of the room.  So I suppose if it were something I really really really liked, I might be able to sell it.

My next step is the checkout list.  I haven’t really looked at it in detail yet, but I think mainly I need to return all the government’s equipment (blackberry, laptop, CAC, and Pentagon ID – I think that’s all I have).  Once that’s done, I won’t be able to just come and go into the building like I do now.  That will seem strange.

The way I figure it, I have two and a half more paychecks left.  Now THAT is going to seem strange….and will be a future post.

Not Going to Miss It

I’ve been thinking about all of the things I’ll never need to say or do again after I retire.   The thought hit me when we were in a directors meeting yesterday and a colleague said “pre-brief.”  OMG.  Who in the world outside of the military says “pre-brief.”  Yet no one batted an eye because this is part of our lexicon.  Of course that means I also won’t have to use the words “brief” or “back brief” either.  Honestly, these aren’t even near the top of my I-don’t- want-to-hear-that-word-again list.  I’m not sure what will make the top, but contenders are:  tasker and coordinations, which always make Word spellcheck go crazy because I guess they are not real words.  Word suggests “tusker,” which means an elephant bearing tusks or a male wild boar….but I won’t go there right now.

I’m also not going to miss the terms:  packages, tabs, attachments/enclosures, Action memo/Info memo, EXECUTIVE SUMMARY!! (this might be #1), strategic planning, metrics, issuances, working group, budget execution,

I’m not going to miss the acronyms:  SACCP, DTS, TDY, OGC (no offense – I actually like our OGC), USD, ASD, PDUSD, PDASD, DASD, SECDEF, DEPSECDEF, NSP, SES, GAO, GSA, CAEP, ULB, FY, NDAA, HASC, SASC, NAF, APF, POM, O&M, MILCON,.....

I’m not going to miss CATEGORIZING everyone.  She is an SES, he is a 15, an O-6, etc…

I'm not going to miss the formatting.  I mean the whole government will be decimated if we don't pay enough attention to formatting.

I’m not going to miss the emails from Pretty Pretty that say "Call Me."  I know that's not a good omen.

Pretty Pretty

I’m getting some pretty bad jokes about my blog.  One friend, who wishes to be called “Pretty Pretty,” thinks it is funny that I call our other friend “Friend.”  I was advised not to use real names in my blog, so I’ve started making up names for people.  If you know our group, it’s not hard to figure out who is who.  But for you stalkers, I’ve tried not to give away too many details.  Why anyone would stalk a 62 year old retiree, I don’t know, but I’m trying to be safety conscious.

Today is minus 22 until retirement.  This has been on my mind for several months, so I’ll reveal my first of 100 things I want to do when I retire.  I am going to scan, digitize, edit and place into photo books all of my photos.  I figure I have about 30,000.  Not kidding.  But I also know that about 90% of them I’ll end up throwing away.  Remember when we used film?  No matter how bad the photo, no matter how boring, you kept it because you’d paid to process it.  I had a Groupon to scan 1,000 photos so I started with those I had that were not in albums.  I ended up with 1,000 to scan and threw away 2,000.  It was hard at first, but got much easier as time went on. 

My plan is to start with my digital photos and make them into books according to the years.  I may need to take turns with those that are digital and those that require unsticking from a photo album and scanning.  Regardless of the method, this is #1 out of the 100 things I am doing in retirement.  NOTE:  These are not in order of priority, but in order of what I think about next.  This one will take years to complete, but I am going to do it.

All those pictures of Pretty Pretty will be given a very close look to determine which pile to place them in – scan or ditch.  Just remember that, Pretty Pretty. 

Counting Down and Counting Up

I’ve been counting down the days until retirement; or rather an app on my smart phone has been doing it.  I’m at minus 23 days right now.  I’m not sure there is an app for counting UP and I sure don’t want to countdown from 28 years from now when my financial advisor estimates “that my retirement will end.”  However, it seems like I should have some means of measuring time.  My retired friends seem to quickly forget what day it is, which sounds great, except that I am a counter.  I don’t really think I would like losing a sense of time.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want it to pass too fast or too slow, but I would like to know that I’ve savored it a bit.  I don’t’ want to over schedule myself, but I do want to have some kind of structure.

Many of you will think I am crazy, but I thought about developing a schedule for myself.  You know, get up at 7:00, go to the gym at 9:00, relax at 11:00, lunch at 12, etc…   But then even I realized this was nuts.  So how will I pass the time and what kinds of goals can I set for myself?

Friend and I have already agreed that we will take one bike trip a year to an overseas location until we are too old to do so.  This year it will be northern Italy one week after I retire.  Next year our other biker friend, Motorbike,  says we should do Denmark.  So that is a plan, right?  A colleague retired last month.  She is training for a century ride.  I’m just not convinced I have the drive to train by myself, and my biking friends don’t want to do it.  So, I guess I’ll drop that idea.  When you are retired I believe you can do things like that---make up your own mind about your MISSION, VISION, OBJECTIVES AND GOAL STATEMENTS.  Right?  In fact, I want to strike those words out of my vocabulary.  Didn’t like them when I was working and by god I sure won’t use them when I AM retired.

I’m thinking that 2012 won’t be a problem.  Retiring August 31, biking northern Italy from September 7-19^th, volunteering at The Mission Continues on September 22, then home for a BIG multifamily Italian-American reunion.  October will be cleaning the house, getting rid of stuff in the garage – hubby’s not mine, then November and December are all of the holidays.  I’m thinking that 2013 will be the big challenge.

I still don't have the 100 things I want to do before my retirement ends, but I'm working on it.  Stand by.  I'm sure I'll have it done soon.

SEINFELD

Jerry Seinfeld, the guy is just so funny and all of it is just about every day life!  Hubby and I saw him last night at the Kennedy Center.  The first 10 minutes of his show was about going out.  He congratulated the audience for getting there.  He said you buy the tickets and you’re all excited about the show, but then the day gets there. The show is at 7:00, you can't figure out how you can eat - too early before and too late after.   I wish I could tell it as funny as he did as he moved on to discussing spouses getting ready to come to the show asking each other if they are “ready.”  The Silver-Tongued Latin Lover and I had spent about 15 minutes before we walked out the door doing just that.  Are you ready?  No, are you?  Isn't it too early?  “You’re not wearing that are you?  It’s the KENNEDY CENTER!!”  Jerry’s words, but mine too.   He had the everyday actions of getting ready to go out down to a tee.

I am amazed how he can spend five minutes discussing Pop Tarts and how his life changed in the 60’s when this was introduced into his breakfast menu.  He did a rift on how food calls to us.  It’s true isn’t it?  Between 9:30 and 11:00 at night, don’t those chocolate chip cookies call out to you…eat me...eat me....eat me......

The guy is a genius.  I just wonder if he can ever have peace.  How do you go through life with the absurdities of  EVERYTHING calling out to you?  Lost socks in the dryer, Cheerios, taking your seat in the theater, letting latecomers into your row.  Is it a gift or a curse? 

At the end of the show, someone called out a question to him about returning to television.  He said no way.  “I’m too old, too rich and too tired.”  Good for him, though I miss Thursday nights at 9:00 and the old Seinfeld gang.   But “not that there is anything wrong with that”, right? 

Do "I Have a Dream" (?)

I planned on writing about today’s  great bike trip, but driving home I heard this NPR piece about a 1999 documentary called How’sYour News? The filmmakers made a cross country trip from Maine to California with five adults with disabilities.  Along the way, the disabled adults interviewed people on the street, and the film makers filmed it.

What made me change my mind about the biking idea was that one of the interviewers (Robert Bird) is questioning a motorcycle rider somewhere in California.  He asks the guy if he has a dream, and the guy really doesn’t have one.  Robert says he had the dream to go to California.  At that moment, I wondered what I could say if Robert asked me.  Do I have a dream?

I thought this blog would chronicle my experience with making a big change in my life – no job after 47 years of work (started at 15 in my dad’s grocery store).  But honestly, I don’t really have a “dream.”  As you read “dream” picture me making the quotation marks with my fingers.  That’s what I mean.  I don’t have a [fingers} dream {fingers].    Not working isn’t really some thing, is it?  It is the absence of something --- employment.

I’ve never been one of those people who had their five year plans, or knew what they wanted to do with their lives as soon as they popped out of the womb. My life sort of meandered, but in a good way.  But do I have a dream?  I hate to admit it, but I don’t think so, and I don’t think I will.   But perhaps that’s okay.  I got here didn’t I?  Maybe this became such a big question for me today because of the stories this week of the Olympic athletes who “knew at 13 that she wanted to be a gymnast, so moved away from her family to work work work.”  These guys all have had dreams and look where they are.

Can I just be happy with being me, meandering through retirement without training for a century bike ride, inventing some shoe accessory and making millions, or learning to play the piano?  I hope so, because that’s probably what's going to happen and that's what this blog is all about.

I am going to stop procrastinating this week and come up with my list of 100 things I want to do until “my retirement ends,” as my financial planner likes to say.  So keep tuned in.  I probably won’t come up with all 100 this week, but will unveil at least a few.  Then my dream will be to try them and let you know how it worked out.  Please don't have high Olympic expectations for me.  I don't have that much energy left.   

Friendship

I’m not sure how you prepare for this, that is, if you haven’t made this a priority in your life up to now, but friendship is certainly something you will want to have when you retire.  That's my opinion. 

I spent the last few hours with the powerful women, a group  of 15 - 20 women who currently or before retirement worked together.  What a group.  We’ve added some younger “girls” – in their 30s and 40s.  I think we range from 30s to 70s, and enjoy each other immensely.  

Navy retired a couple of years ago and she loves it.  Hadn’t seen her for a while and she has decided to go grey.  Wow, it just looks so great!  I wish I could find a picture of the famous model she reminds me of.  

Scottish Lass, who is more like my daughter than just a friend, fears we will grow apart when I retire.  So we are making plans to meet regularly and make sure that doesn't happen.  I wouldn't have let that happen anyway because she is so important in my life.  Who else will go with me to McDonald's  for a McFlurry?   Who else gets so excited about meeting famous people and isn't afraid to admit it?  Who else loves Sheldon as much as I do?  Who has taught me so much?  

But I digress...

The powerful women party together, but also bond together when someone in the group is sick, a spouse or parent is sick, or worse, when someone in our families dies.  Emails will start flying about what we can do to support whoever is involved---bring food, visit in the hospital, give rides for chemo therapy, plant a tree in memory.  We celebrate birthdays and now retirements.  We send each other funny videos and mushy power point presentations of cute animals or beautiful scenery.  But the important thing is that we are there for each other. 

...and I get to keep up with the gossip.

I am fortunate because I have several groups of friends.  I've got the powerful women, but I also have the "girls" - friends I've had for over 30 years.  We all ended up in this area (via North Carolina and Louisiana), and for the past 15 years we've celebrated Christmas together and birthdays, we eat breakfast together on Saturday mornings when we are all in town, we take great trips for our big birthdays.   It is an unlikely group.  None of us is like the other, but we complement each other, I suppose.  

So, add this to my recommendations for retirement.  Make sure you have a support system.  It doesn't need to be this big, but I hope each of you has a friend, a true friend who accepts you as you are, but is comfortable enough to tell you if you need to make a change also.

Striking a chord with retirees

I had not planned it this way, but it seems like other retirees have something to say about what I am saying.  A very good friend said I struck a chord with those Dylan lyrics - "Like a complete unknown."  She went from getting calls from Brian Williams (NBC), the London Times and Congressional staffers (yeah, I have some high powered friends), she said, to getting excited if the plumber called.  Another retiree said to think carefully about volunteering opportunities to ensure that at least one of them uses your talents.  She had run a national data center and after retiring found herself making copies for staff at an eldercare center.  Now she volunteers at the Smithsonian, but says she still misses making decisions.

I talked with one retiree (really the only one I've met who does  NOT like retirement).  I mentioned that I was going to REALLY clean my hosue when I retire and she said "everyone says that."  By that, I think she meant everyone says it but no one does it.

I'm wondering if maybe I should have some guest bloggers.....  Regardless, if you are out there and you understand where I am coming from, send me a note.  I've got lots of things to say about life, work and retiring, but maybe you will strike a chord with me.

No tunes tonight.  I haven't left for home.  Haven't gotten into the almost new convertible (4943 miles) for that ride down the Pike.  Livin La Vida Loca is running through my head, for some reason, though.  Maybe it is getting home to the Silver Tongued Latin Lover.  I'll put on the 70s station and may add a song later.

Like a complete unknown

Bob Dylan.  I just loved all the angst (as much as a 15 year old could understand angst).

I'm on my way home, I was  thinking about the garage sale I am having in the office trying to get rid of all of the great stuff I had in there.  I can't bring it home.  Of course, I have no intention of bringing home the plaques, certificates, and awards.  But what about my posters, plants, and all those little things that have made that office my home and given me pleasure.  No.  Don't even think about it.  Haven't I been bragging for six months that I am cleaning  "all that junk" out of my house?  Where would I put this other life (the office life).  Really how could it fit in...and I am thinking physically but also metaphorically.  I mean, I'm retiring to leave all of that behind.  Right.

Then it happens again.  Driving down the Pike (a different one this time) in the almost new convertible thinking about retirement, and then DYLAN.  Like a Rolling Stone ('65).  How does it feeeeeel?

How does it feel

To be on your own

With no direction home

Like a complete unknown

Like a rolling stone?

Dylan, once again introducing angst into my life.  Isn't this what I am afraid of?  How will it feel to be on my own, a complete unknown.  


I never promised I'd have all of the answers right at first, and I don't know how this is going to work out, but will I become a complete unknown?  Blogging might be the answer, but perhaps volunteering will fit the bill, or going on those exciting trips I'm going to take, or raising orchids!.  Keep reading and the answer will unveil itself, I hope.

When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose

You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

Friend says we are going to the gym in the morning.  Hmmm.  Body Pump Instructor?  More likely Silver Sneakers.